If Ever I Said Goodbye
by Kelandra Surisha
Summary: Sometimes you don't truly learn lessons that you are taught when you are young until you grow, or in NeoQueen Selenity's case, until a new life is grown.


Hello everyone. My name is Kelandra Surisha and this is the first of what I hope shall be many additions to This story is an emotional story about Neo Queen Selenity finally learning a lesson that her mother taught her long ago.

The disclaimer is I do not own Sailor Moon so do not sue.

Please read and review or e-mail me.

If Ever I Said Goodbye  
By Kelandra Surisha

I can remember you Mother right as rain standing there across from me in the open courtyard of our palace. I remember I was crying, sitting alone in the fields of flowers as you walked towards me, finally kneeling along the stone path, your long white dress flowing out around you in a beautiful wave of silks and magic. I can remember your long silver hair catching a glint of the afternoon sun as you delicately lased your fingers into the petals of a lily the blossomed a most delicate and vibrant purple. Your face was so soft and kind and your eyes were delicately decorated with soft black eyeliner and mascara that brought anyone's vision to the temples of your being, your beautiful soft blue eyes that sparkled even through these dark times.

I can remember your soft lips pulling into a slight smile as you spoke your flowing soft words to me over the calming breeze of the late summer's afternoon. "Tell me sweetheart why do you cry?"

I did not say a word as I delicately plucked another flower for my ever-growing bocce that was tucked untidily into my lap where I would use the folds of my dress as a cup and bring the flowers to their destination.

"Sweetie?" you spoke again softly, plucking a single petal of the beautiful flower you intertwined your fingers in.

"I'm picking flowers for Daddy's grave," I whispered softly through my tears, my breath came in short gasps and I hiccupped softly as I looked down at the flowers in my lap. They were unevenly cut and some were slowly beginning to wither as they sat alone in my lap without water.

I remember then you reached forwards to me and softly began to pull the flowers from my lap and arranged them into a small bundle for me.

"Would you like to come place them on his grave with me?" you asked handing the flowers back to me.

I sniffled and nodded, standing amongst the flowers I was sitting in and stepping back onto the path you stood on. You smiled and stood, taking my hand as I held the flowers in my other hand.

I was only eight-years-old at the time but I knew the truth, my father was not coming home again. My father had fallen ill on a visit to Mars, and despite the fact that I pleaded endlessly to see him I didn't get the chance. Mysteriously, despite being strong, within two days of arriving on Mars and falling ill he perished. You said he died peacefully and gracefully with you at his side but I always regretted not being there myself.

As we stood before his grave you gently tugged one of my ponytails lovingly and it didn't hurt a bit. I sniffled again then placed them on his grave then stepped back beside you, staring at his grave as I began to cry once more.

"I never got to say goodbye Momma,"

You looked at me suddenly, turning your gaze from father's grave. Then you took my hand in yours and squeezed it lightly, kneeling before me, which was an odd feeling since everyone usually bows to you. I can remember you holding my hands in yours, the soft look on your face tore at my soul for the look in your eyes was tormenting. But the tears that you fought slowly subsided and you smiled lightly although I could see you were being ripped to pieces.

"Baby listen to me," you said softly, whipping my tears lightly before taking hold of my hands again, "it's a good thing you never said goodbye."

I looked down at you and I didn't understand. But still I stood and listened, intently watching your eyes.

"Baby when you say goodbye you mean you'll never see that person again. Sweetie, no matter what happens you'll see someone again, maybe not through life but through death. Sweetie Daddy is waiting for us in heaven, and he knows he'll see you again because you didn't say goodbye. When you say goodbye to someone you wont see them again, and hope is nothing without the faith that one day those who brought you here can be reunited with their greatest treasure, you."

I didn't understand that day but I hugged you anyways. I don't think that I was supposed to understand yet and not until now, when I could have said goodbye, am I truly understanding your words.

Despite losing you, mother, I know you're with me. Through the battle with Queen Beryl you were there, pushing me forwards and keeping me strong. If I'd said goodbye to you I'd have let you go and if I'd let you go I would have never had your strength.

You taught me a long time ago all the knowledge you possessed, but now I am just beginning to learn it.

Momma if I'd said goodbye I'd have lost you. Now I know I will never lose you, one day I shall see you again, with your soft silver locks and bright blue eyes sparkling in the afternoon sky.

You have given me the strength to shine, and to this day I have not said goodbye to a single living soul or even those who have departed from our world to yours. I know everyone who departs from me I do not lose; it is not the end, for you are here with me.

If I'd ever said goodbye it wouldn't have been to you, Momma, for as I look down at my daughter's soft cream face I can see you within her, reborn into the beautiful baby with soft pink hair and dazzling red eyes. Your soul is within her.

Within time I shall teach her all you taught me, but it will be her time to learn it one day, as it was mine. So now mother, I must say adieu.

But I will never say goodbye.

Well there you go, I hope you enjoyed it. This is just a little thing I wrote a while back but thought I might as well post.

Remember to review or e-mail me!!

Until next time,  
Kelandra Surisha


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